The story is of a woman whom he meets while shes masturbating. I guess you could say she was a sex fiend. Not a slut, mind you. A sex fiend. Yes, thats it. No word in high school for that, because to be a fiend is to be beyond shame. You can make fun of someone whom you think has been humiliated by sucking dick on the playground, but what can you do with a sex fiend A sex fiend who knows how to pleasure herself. A sex fiend who wants to, knows how to, grind. I wanted to grind. I didnt want to be dominated or to dominate maybe that would come later. In 1. 98. 4, 1. 98. I wanted to grind. And so I slithered on my mirror and told my sister to call me Princess. She understood. She was into Wendy and Lisa, the first dykes either of us had ever seen. And the brilliant part was that no one had to tell you they were dykes. You just knew, because they were always together, because they played their instruments without self consciousness, and because Lisa says, Wendy and Wendy answers, Yes, Lisa. And then they grind. And so my sister became a dyke and I became a sex fiend. Or maybe I became a dyke and she became a sex fiend. Or we both became both or neither, or, as I Would Die 4 U had it, something that youll never comprehend. I cannot overemphasize the importance of Wendy and Lisa. MovieGO Watch Any Movies Online For Free in FULL HD 1080p Quality and very fast stream without register and no download, you can watch Movies TV Shows. That they were just there, the first women Id ever seen as fundamental parts of a band, a band that shredded. They were the stoic dudes keeping it together to Princes histrionic grace. But thats not even right. I never saw Prince as womanly or manly or even androgynous. He was just beauty, grace, energy, sex, light. He came undone and left it all on the floor, and also moved in tight formation, choreographed chic. The opening chords of Purple Rain, theyre the opening of a conversation. A plaintive, resigned, questing conversation. I might add that theyre played, at least in the movie, by Lisa. He was a hot little guy, the kind of guy whose profound sex appeal none of the other guys, certainly not Morris Day inĀ Purple Rain, can understand. Day and his macho buddy roll their eyes and shake their heads as Prince starts in on Darling Nikki. Prince is doing that weird thing with one of his hands that we all imitated, where you make one hand look like its the hand of another, creeping down the side of your face. Its Nikkis hand, its ones own self pleasuring hand, its creepy, ones own body made other. Its self seduction, a magic trick. Its the masturbatory dream, that ones hand could feel the way the hand of another feels on you. I think this was another of Princes giftsto keep self seduction and allo seduction on a rollicking continuum, like those rectangular boxes that contain a bright blue wave rolling back and forth. Why decide between onanism and obsession, when you can just celebrate the root energy of each No accident, then, that by 1. I started to want to be touched and touch someone besides myself, I picked out an incredibly small guy who wore eyeliner and lipstick and most definitively was an unrepentant sex fiend. Not in the way that so many teenage boys are, with their gross language about boningyou know, all the Brock Turners or medium grade Brock Turners of the world. A sex fiend is someone who actually likes sex, not just the getting off part but the dirty parts, the salty mess of it. And so my androgyne boyfriend liked the mess, and so did I. Grinding thats good enough you dont need to tell anyone about it. He certainly didnt tell anyone about it, because the other eighth grade boys mocked and ostracized him for being small and femme and freakish. But he was the only one getting it. Im telling you this now because I hate the way this possibility of experience for boys and girls and everyone in between gets drowned out in moralistic crap about power and consent, all of which is necessary but eclipses the real divine electric dirtiness that is possible between excited young bodies who have accepted that they have desire and somehow manage to find each other. I want people, especially girls, to know that thats possible. Its possible even when youre thirteen, fifteen, and it can be great. I recited Darling Nikki for two years like a prayer. Then, there was high school. The Purple Rain moment had passed, but I am here going to credit any good sex that happened over the next few years to Prince. He was so many things besides a sex symbol for suburban white girls like me, so please forgive me my momentary narrowness. Im just struggling to give my thanks. I imbibed it then without naming it, but I can see now how important it was that his feminism and queerness and blackness all blazed together, implicit, a streak of insistence on whats possible, a rejection of the paltry ways of being that pretend to be all thats on offer. It may bear interjecting here that friends whove watched the movie more recentlyI havent seen it for more than thirty yearshave told me that it isnt nearly as female friendly as I remember. Indeed, as one friend told me this, the image of a jabbering woman being thrown into a dumpster came to mind. I asked, grimacing, Oh shit, does a woman get thrown into a dumpster Oh, yeah, she said.